Individuals with narcissism have a severe pathological need for validation. What is validation? Validation is connected to our self-esteem, self-worth, and self-efficacy. Self-esteem refers to our overall sense of self-worth. We either feel good or bad. For example, we either look at ourselves in the mirror and think, “I look really good today,” or “I can’t believe how big my hips are, how small my arms are, or how big my stomach is.” Our self-worth tells us that we are something, someone, that we have something to offer the world and others. We possess and give value to others from our self-worth. Self-efficacy is our belief in our abilities. For example, our work performance. However, narcissists’ self-esteem, self-worth, and self-efficacy are extremely vulnerable and lacking.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is very tricky to identify in a person. One of the primary reasons NPD is difficult to detect is that narcissists are incredibly charming. On a first date, you are immediately pulled into their narcissistic hook and suddenly realize you do not want to walk away. You want to hear what they have to say. You begin to feel alive and pulled into their world. You give them your undivided attention, and they continue to pull you closer and closer. You begin to develop feelings for them within minutes. It can be attraction, admiration, sexual chemistry, sympathy, empathy, or genuine trust.